


A Ghost's Story

by TiedyedTrickster



Category: DBZ - Fandom, Dragon Ball
Genre: 'cause he's still alive, ...sorry I guess?, Afterlife fic, But not Krillin, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Gen, Hey it's the Z warriors!, Rare Pair, Redemption, Some Humor, You can be in the next story Krillin, dbz afterlife is vague and undefined, don't worry I know what I'm doing, rated for a little swearing, so I'm running wild here, some language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2547842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiedyedTrickster/pseuds/TiedyedTrickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all know Raditz went to hell - King Yemma said so when Goku asked him.<br/>No one ever said he stayed there...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hell

The first thing he does when he wakes up in hell is throw up. Or, at least try to – the absence of a truly corporal form makes this a little tricky. But apparently the sensation of having every last one of your illusions and delusions forcibly stripped from you translates as nausea. And, as it turns out? He’d had a lot of both.

After the feeling eventually subsides, he sits on the ground near a rocky crag, shaking slightly, as he remembers the events that had led him here. Had he really-? And then- Oh gods, _Kakarrot_ \- AND his nephew-?! …oh. That wasn’t so- SERIOUSLY?!? He had actually though _that_ was a good idea?!? Oh, he’d died then. At least now it couldn’t get any- THE JUDGE OF THE DEAD?!? He’d- he’d- _THE JUDGE OF THE DEAD?!?_

…he’s going to be here forever…

Also, discovering you have morals sucks when you find them too late to do anything _useful_ with them. Like off yourself for the good of the universe. …and he’d thought he’d left that melodramatic streak behind him when he was ten.

…why hadn’t anyone told him he was turning into a monster? In a way that made it clear that this was a bad thing, that it? Then again, he’d been raised the way saiyans had been raising their brats for over a century, ever since Frieza found them. Speaking of whom, how had he not realised working for that lizard was a bad idea? Why hadn’t he just grabbed a pod and run as far and fast as possible, maybe found Kakarrot and-

-oh right, Kakarrot.

…

… _damn_ but he’d fucked up there. And that was coming from his history of fucking things up. Gods, if his father was still around, he’d-

He freezes as a horrifying realization strikes him.

He’s dead.

He’d been a proper saiyan in life.

And he’s in hell.

His father is _also_ dead.

His father had _also_ been a proper saiyan.

Therefore-

Therefore-

Therefore he had better hide his ass, because when his father found out what he’d done (and he _would_ find out (he _always_ found out (everything (always)))), he would be coming for Raditz’s blood, and if there was anyone who could figure out a way to kill a ghost, it was Bardock.

He curses as he darts for the cover of a mountain range. Life had been easier when he was insane – and he knows how that, after over twenty years in Frieza’s service, he had been _quite_ insane, just like Vegeta and Nappa. Things hadn’t been as scary when he was insane. Well, except death. Death was always scary. _Gods_ , he _is_ dead, and he’s _still_ scared of dying! So insanity wouldn’t have actually helped here after all.

Gods, morals _and_ sanity – they really knew how to stick it to a guy in Hell. Which makes sense. It being hell and all.

He ends up hiding near a fountain of blood and a tree, which are being guarded by a pair of oni. No other ghosts are near here – which is a little strange, because the oni don’t seem that tough, but whatever. Things seem to work differently down here, anyway. There’s this weird yellow ring floating over his head, for one. Then there’s the fact that his own solidity seems to vary from moment to moment – he’s sitting on a rock one instant, then next he’s sitting _in_ it. The only thing that reliably holds him up is the ground, and thank the gods for small blessings. So maybe the oni are legitimately dangerous and he just can’t tell. Honestly, that just makes it a better place to hide – no one would think to look for a coward by something dangerous.

And he _is_ a coward. That’s another of those things he knows now. He was always hiding behind something when he was alive – Vegeta and Nappa, the threat of Oozaru form, bravado. It wasn’t even something he’s been aware he was doing. He’d been scared for so long, it didn’t register that he was afraid by the time he died. Just one of those many cheerful pieces of self-awareness you got when you no longer had any secrets from yourself. Gods, hadn’t he had _any_ good traits?

He’s surprised when his mind provides an answer to that, moreso because the answer is ‘yes.’ He was loyal. He had never faltered in his service to his prince, and not just because Vegeta had been stronger or would destroy Frieza and free them one day, but because he respected the younger man, his strength, his courage, his intellect. Vegeta was the prince of all saiyans, he had been owed Raditz’s allegiance, but it was never something Raditz gave grudgingly, even if he did mouth off a lot. Even dying, his last act had been to aid Vegeta, making sure the communication line to the prince was activated in his scouter.

And he hadn’t wanted to kill Kakarrot or his nephew. ‘ _A true warrior never hesitates to kill, not even his own brother!_ ’ Then why had he prolonged the fight? Kakarrot had been helpless at his feet, the green guy had been powering up his attack; he could have finished it then and there. A snapped neck or a ki blast and, boom, done, no more brother. Then it would have been kill the green guy, grab his nephew, and hole up somewhere while he waited for someone to come and get him. Maybe clear the planet while he was waiting, get the brat started in his training.

He could have won.

If he’d taken that kill shot.

If he’d killed his baby brother.

Which, as it turned out, he couldn’t do. That had been a very inconvenient truth to discover, especially after his declaration not two minutes earlier. …yeah, he’d handled that badly.

Really badly.

…

Hell sucks. Which is the point, of course, but still.

…

…he’s just going to stay here until his spine grows back. Or grows in for the first time. Or until Bardock comes along and kills him. Whichever comes first. Actually, he’ll probably run if Bardock comes. Death is still scary.

So he stays where he is, watching the two oni and thinking, something he realizes he didn’t do much when he was alive. He thinks about what he might have done differently. Like maybe turn off his scouter and tell Kakarrot the _real_ reason he’d come to find him – to get another saiyan on their side to fight Frieza when the time came – as opposed to that ridiculous story about needing help clearing a planet. Though he didn’t care if it _had_ been wrong, he was still impressed with himself for getting that one out with a straight face. As if Vegeta would need outside help with something as simple as that! Still, it would have been an easy lie for anyone listening in on his transmissions to swallow, if only because they did so love to see Vegeta forced to do things he didn’t want to, like admit to lacking the strength to accomplish a task he’d been assigned. If Raditz had asked his brother, instead of ordered, if he’d told the truth instead of lied, would Kakarrot have come with him?

And would father kill him for getting both himself and Kakarrot killed… or for not striking the finishing blow himself? Bardock had been a cold man, a shining example of a saiyan warrior, especially for a third class. He doubts Bardock would have hesitated to strike him down if he had tried to rebel like that, him or Kakarrot.

…he wonders what truths his father had had to face about himself when he got here.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

Time… probably passes? It’s hard to tell down here, where nothing truly changes. He begins to get the hang of the whole ‘solid/not solid’ thing – it’s all a matter of focus, a bit like flying, really. Only staying solid’s more tiring, at least when he’s doing it consciously.

Time must be passing, though, because something on that tree the oni guard starts to smell mighty tasty. Which is a surprise in and of itself because, he realizes, he hasn’t been hungry since he got here. And this is nothing short of flabbergasting, because hunger and saiyans go together like- like fighting and saiyans! Which, admittedly, he hasn’t felt like doing since he got here either, but that probably has less to do with not having a body anymore and more to do with all that guilt his conscience brought with it when it woke up. That had happened at about the same time his morals appeared, so he hadn’t noticed its presence until later. He doesn’t appreciate it much, mostly because he doesn’t like feeling guilty, especially since there’s nothing he can do to assuage the guilt since he is one, dead, and two, already in hell.

That’s not important, though. What’s important is that, whatever it is that’s growing on that tree, he needs some of it, more than he’s ever needed anything before. He doesn’t even need all of it, just a piece. He doesn’t know _how_ he knows this, but he does. Just one piece, but he needs it, almost more than he needs to hide.

There are still the oni to consider. He’s learning a bit how hell works, but he doesn’t know all the rules, and he doesn’t know how strong these two are, and they guard the tree. They don’t look like they’d be an issue, but last time he assumed his victory was assured… well, he’d ended up here. So he waits, the scent of the thing he needs driving him half out of his mind, but he waits. Let it never be said that eldest son of Bardock was a complete fool.

And, as it turns out, he’s not waiting long (maybe (time down here is still confusing)). A short eternity after the scent appears, his attention is brought from remembering Vegetasei to his current location as something drops screaming from the sky to land not too far from the tree, to the oni and Raditz’s surprise.

It’s Kakarrot.

He hadn’t expected to see his brother again, and he’s not sure what to think of it now, and he _really_ doesn’t know what to say to him, if anything at all. So he stays hidden and watches Kakarrot beat the oni with ease - and though his brother also has a yellow hoop floating over his head, he seems to have no trouble staying solid. Must have to do with having led a virtuous life or something. And… he knows it shouldn’t be this funny, but watching the oni try and fling Kakarrot out of hell with that wooden contraption is really hilarious.

It’s also an opportunity.

While the three of them are distracted, Raditz flashes over to the tree and climbs it. It’s full of lush, golden-orange fruit, gently blushing pink in places, and it’s these the scent has been coming from. He doesn’t waste time, not even to bask in being in the center of this glorious scent. He grabs a piece of fruit and gets back to where he’d been watching from. They’re still at it, and no one seems to have noticed him. Good.

A moment later they stop and confer a bit, then lead Kakarrot towards a nearby mountain and show him a tunnel.

It’s a way out of hell.

He watches, stunned, as his brother runs through, pausing only to eat a piece of fruit _he_ had apparently stolen off the tree (and when in the world had he managed to do that?!?). The oni leave, returning to their task of guarding the tree. Raditz remains, hidden in the rocks, too stunned to move. A way out of hell. The thing he needs _and_ a way out!

A soft plopping sound snaps him out of his reverie, and he looks down to see his piece of fruit on the ground. He’d lost his grip on his solidity. He manages to firm up again long enough to hide his prize in the rocks, but then he has to rest for awhile, because being solid so long has exhausted him. While he rests, he looks at the fruit. So, this is what he’s been craving all this time. And it’s obviously good for saiyans, because Kakarrot looked incredibly invigorated after he ate his piece. Only…

He doesn’t want to eat it.

It looks good, and it smells better, but he really, really just doesn’t want to eat it. It’s what he needs, whatever instincts he received upon becoming a ghost are screaming at him that this is what he needs, but he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with it.

It’s _really_ annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, I’m doing another Raditz story! ‘cause I reread DBZ last spring/early summer and, for gods know what reason, fell in love with the guy. I blame the hair. The guy has crazy-awesome hair. Also, gotta admire him a little for seeing King Yemma and going ‘I can take him.’ I mean, on the one hand, crazy-stupid thing to do, but on the other, that had to take some serious stones. And yeah, whenever Raditz mentions the Judge of the Dead, he’s talking about Yemma – that’s the saiyan term for him (in my world, at least).  
> As with most of my stories, this one came about because I am, if not the queen, then at least the Champion of fiddly details, and I read in the DBZ wiki that, in one video game at least, Raditz apparently gets out of hell and into a relationship of some sort with Princess Snake. And I really wanted to know how that happened. SO NOW WE’RE FINDING OUT! Same goes for why those peaches are involved. And I know they’ve technically got a different name in the show and games, but they also don’t seem to be referenced much (maybe I’m reading the wrong fics) and I want you all to know what I’m talking about.  
> Again, as always, I love fiddly details, but I also tend to play fast and loose with them when it suits my fancy. I’m doing that with quite a few things in this story, but in a consistent manner. So grab your scouter and join me for this ride – I can guarantee you haven’t seen this one before! (Because there are almost no fics where Princess Snake is a main character – seriously, there’s like, five, I checked (unless said fics like this are hiding on sites that are not ff.n or AO3 (in which case, please direct me towards them, I am open to new sources of literature))).  
> And, in my experience, the person a liar lies the most to? Is themselves.


	2. Snake Palace

Time passes (probably) and he regains his strength. Once this happens, he picks up his fruit and cautiously makes his way to the tunnel. It’s dark and has a strong air of danger about it, and, for a moment, he falters. What if it’s a trap?

But it’s the only way out he knows of, possibly the only way out in the whole place, and part of him is tired of always being a coward.

He steps through.

Immediately, the sense of danger vanishes – it must have been an illusion or a test or something, meant to keep damned souls like him from leaving. It’s dim in the tunnel, but not pitch black like it had appeared to be, and saiyans have good night vision. The tunnel is musty and obviously rarely-used – he can make out the tracks Kakarrot must have left when he went this way. Tucking his piece of fruit into his armor, he begins to climb.

He discovers that the fruit stays with him when he loses his solidity if he carries it in his armor instead of his hand (odd), and that the stairs support his intangible form (thank the gods), but it’s easier to climb them when he’s solid (crazy afterlife rules). So it takes him a long time to climb the stairs.

Eventually he reaches a fork in the path. Kakarrot’s tracks continue up the right branch, and he’s about to follow them when he hears a rumbling voice from that direction. It sounds suspiciously like the Judge of the Dead.

On the logic that the man would unlikely be happy to see him after their last… encounter, especially with his stolen piece of fruit, Raditz takes the left branch. There’s being brave and there’s being stupid, and he thinks he’s probably done enough of the latter to last him several lifetimes. Which is kinda sad, considering he’d only lived one.

Anyway, left branch it is.

The tunnel gets steeper for a bit, then abruptly starts to go downwards even more steeply. Then, between one step and the next, the steps vanish and he’s falling. He yells as the walls go from grey stone so red building walls and- oh shit, that’s the floor!

He hasn’t been able to fly since he arrived in hell, but old instincts die hard, and he tries anyway, even as he closes his eyes, fully expecting to experience a painful impact any moment now. In fact he’s still cursing himself for many, many types of fool when he notices he hasn’t hit the floor yet and he really should have by now. Cracking one eye open, he discovers he’s hovering several feet in the air and a lady with light teal skin and blonde hair is staring at him.

Embarrassed, he lands, grateful that at least he hadn’t been screaming the whole time. If that had been the case, Raditz would have had to deny Bardock the chance to kill him by offing himself, out of sheer mortification. He still has _some_ pride, after all. Not a lot, but enough that he wants to hold onto it. In a stroke of fortune, the floor supports him, which is good because he’d lost his hold on his solidity sometime between falling and flying.

The blonde woman stares at him for another moment, then smiles. “Oh, another guest! And so soon after the last one – Princess Snake _will_ be pleased! She’s been so out of sorts since the last visitor left so rudely!”

She walks off and he follows her, mostly because he can’t think of a good reason not to. He is led to another room in this strange, lavish house, and three other women are waiting there. Two look much like the woman leading him, the same dresses, the same skin colour, and, though one has black hair and the other brown, the same hairstyle.

The middle woman, however, is different. Her skin is a darker teal, and she wears long gloves and a white, furry wrap draped over her shoulders. Her hair is different, too – short and fluffy and bright orange, which looks good next to her skin. She’s very beautiful, and he gets the impression that, if he’d still had a body, he’d probably be pretty damn attracted to her. (Because racial purity is all well and good, but it’s a concept that flies out the window pretty quickly when you’re one of the last three members of your race. Especially when all the females are dead and none of said remaining three are interested in each other like _that_.) But he’s still got eyes – or the spiritual equivalent – and he can tell this lady’s gorgeous.

“Hello there,” she purrs, holding out a hand, “I’m Princess Snake.”

He stares at her hand, not quite sure what she’s expecting, then clasps it briefly in his own. “Raditz. Nice eyebrows, Princess.”

Now, he’d been trying to be polite – he’s managed to get out of hell (he’s pretty sure this isn’t hell – it feels different), and he’s in no hurry to go back, but he doesn’t know much about manners. It’s not really his fault - he’s saiyan, and he spent most of his life around soldiers of one sort or another, it isn’t like he’s had much opportunity to learn. But a compliment had seemed safe enough.

And they **are** very noticeable eyebrows. He doesn’t normally pay attention to details like that, but these are pretty distinctive. Heavy, black, and looking like they’d be at home on a saiyan, set over those slanting eyes, they give her otherwise delicate, lovely face a wild, slightly dangerous edge – the sort of thing he’s always appreciated in a female.

So yeah.

Nice eyebrows.

He’s really not sure how he screwed this one up.

The princess, however, seems shocked at his statement. She pulls her hand from his with surprising force, feeling her forehead and looking in the mirror one of her attendants provides. Her brows furrow in puzzlement for a moment, rise for another as comprehension of some sort dawns, then lower again as she spins around to face him, scowling.

“You’re no man,” she accuses, pointing a finger in his face, “You’re just a ghost! Oh, I can’t _stand_ ghosts – they’re no good for… physical things, and there’s no taste to them!”

He ignores that last part and frowns back at her, folding his arms. “In case you hadn’t noticed, Princess, we’re in the afterlife, and that strikes me as a pretty poor location to be if you’re looking for more physical company!”

She flushes maroon, either in fury or embarrassment, but she doesn’t back down. “ **Worthy** souls are allowed to keep their bodies after death, and only such as they are ever permitted by King Yemma to try the Snake Way!” she sniffs disdainfully, spinning on her heal. “Girls, get rid of this obviously _unworthy_ ghost!”

“Of course, Princess Snake,” the attendants chime, advancing on him as their mistress storms off.

This signals the start of the longest game of ‘don’t get caught’ he’s ever played. Because they’re crazy if they think he’s just going to just stand around and let them drag him off to where ever, probably hell. He just got out of hell, he has no intention of going back (and if his conscience thinks he deserves to be there so badly, it can go without him, and take the blasted morals with it (…he’ll keep the sanity, though (it’s generally agreed sanity is a good thing))).

It’s a strange chase. He’s stronger and faster than the attendants and, as it turns out, while the floors will support his intangible form, the walls won’t, so he can go straight through them while the attendants are slowed by having to use doors. On the other hand, they know this house – more of a palace, actually – from top to bottom, there are many of them, and they have some sort of communication system set up.

The chase is fast and frenzied, tinged with the fear of capture, the attendants often one step closer than he’d like, and it ends abruptly. He darts through a wall and staggers, because suddenly he’s outside, and it’s only that deeply-ingrained instinct to fly that keeps him from plunging through the orange sky to the yellow clouds below. Spinning in mid-air, he sees an attendant leaning out a window, a triumphant smile on her face.

“And stay out!” she yells, slamming the shutter closed.

He stares at the palace (and from the outside, yeah, obviously a palace) for a moment, blinking. It’s an odd style, angular but kinda elegant. He can see the attendants moving around it through the windows, and, for a moment, he swears he sees a giant snake slithering through its passageways. Strange. Not the strangest thing he’s ever seen, mind you, but still strange. He flies around it a few times, partially to get a look at the building, partially just for the sake of flying again, then settles on the road out front, which looks like it’s made of some mind-bogglingly long serpent.

The road supports his form like the palace floors did, so he sits on it, across from the steps leading to the entrance. His face feels weird. After a moment, he realizes that it’s because he’s smiling. And he’s smiling because… that was fun. The first fun he’s had in a long time. Looking back, capture probably wasn’t as big an issue as he’d thought – he’d gone through some of the attendants a few times, as easily as he’d gone through the walls, he’d just been too preoccupied with Not Getting Caught to really notice. And he realizes that he’d like to have played longer.

Getting up, he climbs the steps and pushes against the door. His hand goes through with no resistance, just like the walls.

Making a nuisance of yourself isn’t the best thing to do, but, to be fair, it barely registers compared to single-handedly causing the deaths of billions. Besides, he’s already damned, what’s the worst they could do to him? Grinning, Raditz walks through the door, and the chase begins again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we get our first bit of dialogue! Yay!  
> In this story, at least, Princess Snake can become a giant snake, but her palace and attendants are real, not illusions, because that was a liiiiiittle too trippy. And if you’re wondering what’s up with the Princess’s eyebrows… think about how she looks when she’s not being a sweet little innocent or a giant snake. (and if you can’t remember, the DBZ wiki has a picture – I will not judge you for not remembering, she shows up in one filler episode (okay, and DBZ abridged (which is how I know about her at all, seeing as how I read this series as opposed to watching it))).


	3. Dancing

He doesn’t spend all his time teasing the attendants and their mistress. Sometimes he lies on the palace roof, looking up, or sits on the snake road, looking down at the clouds that he strongly suspects are the same ones which filled the sky in hell. And sometimes he contemplates his piece of fruit, which for some reason has remained as fresh and fragrant as the day he picked it (crazy afterlife rules), but which he still has no desire to eat. At least having it in his possession has dulled the craving for it some, enough that it isn’t driving him out of his mind. Sometimes he shadow-boxes with himself – he has no body, so his strength doesn’t increase with training, but, alive or dead, he’s still saiyan, and certain things go deeper than flesh and bone. And sometimes he just watches the palace women as they go about their lives.

However chasing _is_ a big factor in his regular activities now, though the chasing grows less frantic as time goes on and the attendants realize he’s more out to annoy them than cause actual trouble. They still go after him, though. He’s not sure why – maybe they’re bored or maybe they enjoy it, too. Whatever the reason, he’s having fun and not really adding anything new to his extensive list of misdeeds, so he counts it as a win. The only annoying thing is that they all insist on calling him ‘ghost.’ He has a name, he’s informed them of it multiple times, but every time they see him, it’s always ‘It’s that ghost again – get him!’

Mostly, though, it’s just fun.

This goes on for awhile, then, one day (for lack of a better term), the rules change. He’s sitting on the snake road, legs dangling between the spines, watching neither the clouds nor the sky but rather the place where they touch, when he becomes aware of a presence beside him. He looks up to see a sandy-haired attendant – Adda, if he remembers right. He’s been watching them and being chased by them for long enough that he’s begun to be able to tell them apart, and even connect names with faces. She’s a clever one and quick, and now she stands beside him, looking serious.

“What do you want?” he asks, bemused and a little wary. He’s never seen an attendant leave the palace before. “I’m not on the princess’s territory right now.”

“The entirety of Snake Way is her highness’s territory, and it exists solely at her discretion,” Adda sniffs, disdainful, “But that’s not important right now. Your presence has been requested by Princess Snake.”

He blinks at this, surprised. “Isn’t the entire reason you women chase me that she _doesn’t_ want me in her palace?”

“Well, she wants you there now.” Adda turn on her heal and heads back up the steps.

He follows her. He doesn’t have any reason not to, and he can always start another chase if he doesn’t like what’s going on.

Princess Snake is waiting for him in a large, empty room with mirrors on the walls (there’s mirrors all over the palace, actually, some in rather surprising places), arms folded, an annoyed expression on her face. He gives her a cautiously amused look. For some reason, he always gets the impression of a large serpent when he sees her, blue-grey, with fins on either side of its head mimicking her large, tapering ears. It’s a little unsettling but, again, not the strangest thing he’s ever seen.

“You sent for me, Princess?” No point in antagonizing her too much, or else she might tell someone who could actually do something about him that he was here. Thus far he’s seen all the maintenance oni who traverse the snake road – or Snake Way, as it is apparently called – miles off and hidden from them in the palace, but why push his luck?

Princess Snake glares at him, tapping her fingers on her arm. “I don’t like you, ghost, but you’re the only male for 500,000 miles in any direction and I want to practice my dancing, so you’ll have to do.”

This throws him. “Do for what?”

She looks at him like he’s stupid. “For a dancing partner, of course! I know you can go solid, you shook my hand when we first met, and you’re quick enough on your feet, so you’ll do.”

“But-” he flounders – nothing in life _or_ death has prepared him for this, “I can’t!”

“Why not?” her look says this had better be a _really_ good explanation.

“I don’t know how!” and, okay, that isn’t the explanation he was _planning_ to give, but it’s true, so he just goes with it.

And now it’s her turn to be surprised. “Oh.” But her expression quickly grows stern again. “Well then, you’ll have to learn, because you’re here at my sufferance and I want to practice. Now firm up and get over here!”

So he does. Turns out, dancing’s not that hard. It’s a bit like fighting, actually – predicting your partner’s movements and reacting accordingly, only without the punching. It’s also a little depressing. Here he’s got this gorgeous woman in his arms, occasionally pressing up very close to him, and all he’s really getting from it is… well… a sense of the aesthetic value of her and of the image they must present – the battered warrior dancing with the beautiful princess. And it is _entirely_ Zarbon’s fault that he even **knows** the word ‘aesthetic,’ let alone how to use it properly, but he can’t bring himself to be too pissed off at the green-haired diva at the moment, because it really is easier to think if you have the proper words to go with your thoughts.

He doesn’t realise how caught up in his own head he’s getting until Princess Snake stumbles and he realises he’s gone insubstantial again. She glares at him. “What was _that_ for?!”

“Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts.” Again, not what he’d been intending to say, but true. Even the sorry bit – he hadn’t meant to make her stumble. Even if he couldn’t appreciate her the way he’d like to, dancing with her hadn’t been so bad. Different from chasing, but still fun.

“Oh? You can think?” She folds her arms and glares at him. “Then what were you thinking _about_ , pray tell?”

“Yes, I can, and about how I had a very lovely woman in my arms and how I wished it made me feel more.” The response feels… surprisingly involuntary. And much too honest.

She looks like he’s surprised her again, but then she gets mad. “You’re lying – the very first thing you did when we met was insult my looks!”

He scowls at her. He might not have meant to tell the truth, but damned (double damned?) if he’s going to let anyone say he’s lying when he’s not! “The very first thing I did was _compliment_ your looks!”

“You made fun of my eyebrows!”

“I said I liked them! How in the gods’ names is that an insult?!”

“You- what?” this takes the steam out of her for some reason. “You like them?”

“Yeah,” he looks away, embarrassed, “They’re strong, give you a fierce sort of look that I always liked in a woman. Still do, I guess, just… don’t feel anything to act on.”

“Oh.” She blushes lightly and, to his surprise, smiles at him, and all at once the pieces fall into place in his head.

“ _That’s_ why you’ve been mad at me since we met – it’s not that I’m a ghost, it’s that I insulted your looks! _Gods_ , you must be vain!” And, okay, **wow** , he had _really_ not meant to say that last part out loud. This is why he’s always steered away from telling the truth too often – it’s habit-forming.

Princess Snake stares at him, equally shocked. “And _you’re_ unexpectedly honest. Hmm, I wonder…” she narrows her eyes at him for a moment, then shows him that he actually _can_ be more shocked than he currently is (he’d thought he’d hit his limit), because she laughs. “Oh-ho, so that’s how it is! You’re not just dead – you’re damned! I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before! No _wonder_ you saw my real face!”

That… makes no sense. “What does me being damned have to do with anything?”

She smirks at him. “It means you’ve lost all your illusions and self-delusions – most spirits who end up in hell figure that much out on their own. What they don’t find out is that this also means they can’t have any new illusions placed on them, and they have to answer all direct questions asked of them by someone with a physical form with perfect honesty.”

“…oh…” Well, that explains the sudden rash of truth from a man who had had a reputation for being an extremely skilled liar (crazy afterlife rules).

“Oh come now, don’t be sad,” she smiles at him as he droops, “This will be ever so much more fun. But I think that’s enough dancing for today.”

He’s glad she calls it quits when she does – it’s not as exhausting as it was in hell, but maintaining his solidity for extended periods of time is still tiring. And, as it turns out, Princess Snake is right. The attendants still chase him when they catch him in the palace, but it’s obviously a game to both sides by this point.

And now sometimes Princess Snake summons him to dance with her, or to tell her what he thinks of her eyes (nice shade of red, looks a bit like the deserts on Vegetasei, before they exploded), or her earrings (you could probably kill a guy with one of those. What – it’s a good thing!), or other questions that are obviously going to lead to compliments. Then again, sometimes she comes and joins him when he’s lying on the roof, and they talk more normally. And, after some of the things he had to do under Frieza, being made to give his honest opinion of a pretty woman really isn’t so bad. She still calls him ‘Ghost,’ but for some reason it’s not so annoying anymore. In fact, he kind of likes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snake Way is either 1,000,000 miles or kilometers, depending on your translation, and either way it’s flipping LONG!  
> I read a theory in the DBZ wiki that Princess Snake has some sort of connection to Snake Way, since it looks like her serpent form, and that she might actually even be the one who created it. So I went with it. She’s listed as a goddess in regards to species, so why not? (And, really, I should not be allowed on fandom wikis, I end up doing stuff like writing this fic as a result)  
> I have ignored any names Princess Snake’s attendants may have had in the episode, and instead, in true DBZ naming tradition, given them all names based on various types of snake (since they work for Princess Snake (I suppose if I wanted to be really traditional I’d be naming them after food (or school supplies))). It was really fun/frustrating coming up with them all, and you’ll see more in later chapters.


	4. The Peach

Afterlife continues on like this for awhile, until one day (he still doesn’t have a better term), Princess Snake joins him on the roof while he’s examining his piece of fruit. It’s just as fresh, just as necessary, just as unappetizing as ever, and apparently it’s the first time the princess has seen him with it.

“Oh, you have a peach! I love peaches, may I have a slice?” she asks hopefully, “It’s not like you can eat it.”

Now, on the one hand, she’s right – he can’t eat it, hasn’t been able to or wanted to eat anything since he died, and both his morals and his conscience remind him that sharing is good and that she has been very generous in letting him stay in her home instead of sending him back to hell, especially since she’d been so cross with him that first while.

On the other hand, this is food they’re talking about and, before anything else, he’s still _saiyan_. He’s prepared to fight over this one.

…apparently his morals and conscience had been taking notes before he knew about them, because they tag-team him and he gets his ass handed to him. So he tears off a chunk of the fruit – the peach, she called it – and hands it to Princess Snake.

He barely hears her thanks or the delighted sounds she makes as she bites into it, because tearing the peach open had exposed part of something brown in its center and his entire _being_ is suddenly screaming at him that **this** , **this** is what he needs, what he’s been wanting for so long, the thing that made the peach smell so good. He shreds the rest of the fruit away from the pitted brown thing and, without pausing to think, swallows it.

It’s warm, like stepping out of a deep cave into sunlight, warm and golden and suffusing every inch of him. He feels more solid than he has in ages and the guilt of his actions in life, while still present, suddenly feels lighter, like it will be easier to carry now and might even eventually be absolved. He hadn’t realised how heavy that weight really was until now.

He doesn’t notice his eyes are closed until a startled gasp makes him open them. Princess Snake is staring at him, frozen in the act of licking peach juice from her fingers, and he can see her but it’s through a grey haze. Even as he notices it the haze grows thinner, and he follows it down with his eyes as it sloughs off the palace roof, watching it sink below the yellow clouds. Then he looks up at Princess Snake again. He feels… fresh. And slightly curious. “What was that?”

“Your damnation,” she breathes, eyes wide, “The sins of your past life, your old debts… you’ve been purified.”

“Oh.” He’s sure this will be surprising later, but right now he feels too good to really worry about anything. It’s a little bit like when he’d gone for too long without sleep when he was alive – floaty and slightly disconnected from the world. It’s a nicer feeling than that, though. And… have Princess Snake’s lips always been green? It suits her. He smiles at her. “You’re really pretty.” And he lets his tail unfurl from around his waist to brush her ankle.

She jumps a bit and looks down at it, then up at him where he’s still sitting there, watching her and smiling. Then she reaches out and brushes a hand across his face. It feels good, almost like this is the first thing he’s truly felt in an eternity. Which is silly, because he touches things all the time. Still, he leans into it a little, a faint purr escaping from his chest as he does so. It’s the first time he’s purred since- he can’t actually remember. Oh well…

“And you’re solid,” Princess Snake states, quiet but firm, “Not flesh, but solid all the same.” She looks down at the remains of the peach by their feet, broken into several large chunks, juice spilling on the roof, and growing horror spreads across her face. “That’s no ordinary fruit, that’s one of Yemma’s peaches! I just ate part of one of King Yemma’s peaches – and freely given at that!”

Suddenly, the snake form that has surrounded her like a faint outline all this time grows opaque and solid and the woman shape he knows grows indistinct.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!?” she roars, and part of him helpfully points out that that is one big-ass snake the princess just turned into, but the rest of him just cannot bring himself to care at the moment, so the worried bit shrugs and leaves again. Meanwhile, he’s been asked a question.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly (as if he could answer any other way), finally standing, “I didn’t know what it was, just that I needed part of it. But look at you,” he places a hand almost reverently on her huge snout, “You’re a warrior after all, aren’t you? And this is your Oozaru. Or, no… Ohebi, maybe? That’s what I’ve been seeing all this time.” his smile grows broader. “Look at you!”

And suddenly her woman-form is in focus again, but he still has his hand on her nose, which is weird when she looks like this, so he removes it. But he keeps smiling at her.

She sighs. “A solid soul _and_ you’re still honest. And I’m guessing you can still see my other self, too?” he nods and she groans, “Wonderful, so you’re still illusion-proof.” Bending down, she scoops up the rest of the peach and offers it to him. “Here, this is yours.”

“Don’t want it.” And he really doesn’t. It still smells okay, he supposes, but it’s lost that supernatural pull that it’s had on him for so long. He hides his hands behind his back. “You can have it.”

She snorts. “How generous. Let’s wait and see what the first dose did to me, hmm?” she turns and hops off the roof, flying down to the balcony below, and he follows her, swinging down with one hand, mostly because he can and that seems like a very good reason to be doing things at the moment. He watches her put the rest of the peach in a box.

“Which is real?” he asks as she locks the box and swallows the key, his mind beginning to ever so slowly reform from the warm mush it has been since he was cleansed, “Woman or Ohebi? Dai-hebi. Something-hebi.”

Okay, so his mind’s still mostly mush at the moment, but she gives a snort of laughter, so that’s okay for now. “I think you know the answer to that.”

He opens his mouth to protest, then closes it because he realizes she’s right. “Both. Both are real.”

“Exactly. I just choose which is realer at any given moment.” She chuckles, then sighs. “Yemma really didn’t put you up to this, did he?”

There’s that name she’d said before. “I… don’t think so?” (that’s apparently good enough for his honesty thing), “Who’s Yemma?”

She blinks at him. “Yemma? _King_ Yemma? Big red fellow, purple clothes?”

“Oooh, the Judge of the Dead,” he nods, remembering the huge red saiyan in purple furs he’d seen when he first died, then he shudders. “Oh gods, those were _his_ peaches? Aw…” he droops, “He doesn’t like me. I’m gonna get damned again.” And that’s a depressing thought. He hasn’t been not-damned for very long, but it’s been great so far.

Princess Snake pats his arm and laughs, “Well, that answers my question. And he can’t damn you again. However you managed it, you got one of his peaches and managed to hold onto it long enough to figure out what to do with it, which means, one way or another, you earned your salvation. Those are the rules.” She gives him a speculative look. “But, just to be safe, I think it’s time I formally made you part of my household.”

“Why?” he’s starting to feel more himself again as the initial buzz of being purified slowly fades to a faint background glow.

“You’re probably the first damned soul to steal his or her own salvation and keep it in a thousand years, dear – that makes you a rare commodity. It won’t take long for the kais to come along and try to claim you for various reasons.”

“And is that why you want me?” he asks quietly. He’d lived most of his life knowing that he was kept and tolerated only because he was one of the last of his kind, a rarity. He’s not sure he wants to go back to that.

But Princess Snake just laughs at his question. “My dear Ghost, I couldn’t care less about the state of your soul. But the girls would miss you if you left, and I’ve gotten used to having you around. And you like it here, don’t you?”

“…yes.” He thinks about his situation for a moment. If he’s really been cleansed – and he’s got no reason to think otherwise at the moment – he could probably give getting into heaven a shot. It’s supposed to be really nice there. But he does like it here. And heaven probably doesn’t have attendants who chase you if you tease them, or if it does you probably aren’t supposed to. And he seriously doubts he’ll know anyone there. Anyone who will be happy to see him, that is.

But if he does stay here, there is one thing he needs to make _perfectly_ clear. “I’m not going to wear one of those dresses.”

Princess Snake’s laugh is delighted and amused. “I wasn’t planning on making you an attendant, Ghost – I was thinking more along the lines of a guard. I’ve never had a guard before.”

“I can probably manage that,” he smirks at her, “And my name’s Raditz, you know.”

“Is it?” she gives him a flirtatious look from under her eyelashes. “Well mine’s Nagi. Come along, Raditz, let’s get you a uniform.”

And so he swears his loyalty – the only good trait he’s always had – to Princess Nagi Snake, and becomes her only guard. It’s a pretty empty role, because she obviously doesn’t need a guard, and he pretty much continues to do what he was doing before – get chased by the attendants (though now they also sometimes pester him to let them play with his hair (a thing that is not happening (ever))), dance with Nagi, shadow-box, think about things on the roof. A more accurate description of his job would really be ‘Palace Ghost,’ but that doesn’t sound as good. Besides, the position of guard comes with his own room, and while he doesn’t actually sleep and the roof is comfortable, lying on a bed that’s his own occasionally is nice.

The uniform takes some getting used to – it’s a tunic cut in a similar style to the attendants’ dresses, but much shorter, a pair of pants, and sash, all in the dark green and dark purple the attendants wear. And… it isn’t that the clothes don’t _fit_ per se, but _how_ they fit. He has always worn armor in the modern style, which is skin tight. These clothes… are not. And it feels like they’re going to just fall off for the longest damn time, to everyone’s amusement but his.

Fortunately, the new clothes go with him when he turns intangible, something he can still do easily, though the peach pit seems to have switched his base state to solid and he needs to put a little intention into doing so. He can still feel the pit inside of him in a way, a firmness in his left breast that takes a little more effort to will intangible than everything else, slowly becoming more and more a part of him. He somehow knows that, until it finishes dissolving, this will be a weak point for him, one he must protect if he ever fights again, though this prospect doesn’t seem likely, as the attendants prefer to chase, and no one has come along Snake Way since his brother had zipped past awhile ago, heading for King Yemma’s place.

On the whole, he’s enjoying himself as much as he was before, if not more.

Nagi seems to be having fun, too, though she’s still trying to figure out what the peach did to her. She claims it did something, but she doesn’t know what it was. He tells her not to worry about it, and, sometimes, he kisses her. He doesn’t know why, he’s still a ghost, but somehow being solid has brought a return of certain things, like the occasional twinge of hunger or desire. And, as he had suspected he would when they first met, he finds Nagi very desirable. Fortunately, the feeling now seems to be mutual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast and loooooooose~ with the details!!! Originally Raditz was just going to eat the peach, but then I got creative. This actually works better for the flow of the story, anyway – you’ll find out why next chapter.  
> I know my name for Princess Snake is not hugely creative, but I like it and it suits, so I’m going with it. As for why Raditz is acting rather loopy in this chapter, it is because he is feeling rather loopy at the time, and it was super-fun to write. Also, I find the concept of saiyans purring adorable (if totally illogical), and Raditz is being adorable this chapter, so he’s purring.  
> If you feel the ‘purification’ thing is a bit too quick, well, all I can say is that sometimes these things are quick. Also, I work on what I call the ‘Vegeta Factor,’ which basically says that anyone who has been as evil or less evil as/than Vegeta is capable of redemption.  
> Also, I imagine after wearing clothes like we see Raditz wearing in the show, wearing anything less than skin tight would feel really funky for awhile afterwards.


	5. The Runners

It feels like the rest of existence has forgotten their little corner of it, and that’s okay.

But nothing remains forgotten forever. One day (and he will learn how to tell time around here (eventually (probably))), he’s sitting on the roof, tying his hair back and idly watching the road. Garde had pointed out that he never did anything with it, which he admits is true, so he’s decided to give it a go, to see if he likes it or not (and because it’s better than letting the attendants have their way with it). He’s just got it secured and comfortable when movement catches his eye and he turns to look. There are four figures running along the road, some distance off. For a moment he simply watches them, shocked at the sight of unfamiliar beings. Then he swings down into the palace and goes to find Nagi.

She’s brushing her hair when he finds her (and he was right, she _is_ an incredibly vain creature, but he’ll also admit that she has a lot to be vain about). “It’s my duty as your guard to inform you that travellers are approaching, your highness,” he says, taking the brush from her hand and leaning on the back of her chair.

“Travellers again, so soon? And more than one? How… delectable.” She licks her lips.

He rests his chin on her head, looking at her in her mirror. “You’re not going to eat them, are you? I might have to object to that.” (Because one of the side-effects of being purified seems to be an inclination to actually _agree_ with his conscience and morals from time to time (and damn that had been a surprise the first time it happened)).

She glares at him, but relents when he pouts. “Oh fine, I’m not. I will scare them a little, though. Now stop that.”

He grins and she wrinkles her nose at him. He discovered awhile ago that, for gods alone know what reason, she’s weak against him pouting, something he utilizes whenever he feels like she’s over-abusing the fact that he still has to answer questions honestly.

He leaves while she dresses, going to stand by the side inner door of the entrance hall. Nagi will meet the guests herself, along with a few attendants, and he will wait here unless he’s called for or directed to go somewhere else. It’s the first formal work he’s had to do since he died, and he’s not complaining.

“Presenting her highness, Princess Snake!” he hears Correl announce – he’s heard that Nagi never used to have her attendants announce her, but then an idiot came through who thought she was King Kai for some reason. Since that misunderstanding got her thrown across the room, she’s decided to err on the side of caution ever since.

He grins as he leans against the wall, listening in as Nagi speaks.

“Hello, welcome to my home. I do hope you’ll- you’ll-”

He frowns as she stammers, her self-assurance audibly vanishing.

“Excuse me one moment.”

He hears footsteps swiftly approaching the door he’s standing by, and a moment later Nagi comes through, closing it behind her so she can lean against it. Her skin is the same colour as that of her attendants, which is very pale for her, and her expression is shell-shocked.

“I’ve found out what that wretched peach did to me,” she says as he watches her.

“Oh?”

“Yes,” she glares at him. “I don’t want to eat them. It took away my desire to consume men!”

He’s… not really sure why that’s a problem, but she seems pretty upset over it, so he takes her in his arms. “It’s not like you were going to eat these ones anyway…”

She thumps a fist on his chest. “That’s not the point! The point is-”

He doesn’t find out what the point is, because the door is flung open to reveal a figure he really hadn’t expected to ever see again, but whom he remembers very well nonetheless. The tall green man scowls at him. “I thought I heard a familiar voice.”

“What? Who is that?” a tall man with scars on his face looks around him curiously.

“Another saiyan,” growls a man with three eyes.

“Not just any saiyan,” the green one growls, “That’s Raditz.”

“Oh shiiiiiiit…” he breathes, subconsciously moving Nagi to one side and preparing to defend himself. These figures with the green guy look like earthlings, so it’s safe to assume they’re not going to be happy to see him. His suspicion is confirmed when the three-eyed one grabs his tail.

The speed with which it happens tells him just how scared he should be of these people (very), but still, it’s the most wonderful thing in the world to go intangible and feel his tail slip through the man’s fingers. Quick as a whip, he’s on his feet and running (because, still a coward), and after a moment’s shock they’re after him, Nagi yelling in the background for them to stop, then for her attendants to stop them when the men ignore her, and _damn_ but they’re fast!

Fast, but apparently they can’t control their solidity like he can. And this time he knows the territory and the attendants are on his side, though he tries to steer clear of them (no point in dragging them getting hurt).

The earthlings are strong and quick, and they can work together relatively well – especially the three-eyed one and the little white one. Still, he thinks he would have been able to evade them until they grew frustrated and left if the green one hadn’t had a cruelly intelligent streak in him, one that Raditz should have guessed at, since the guy had been willing to take out his own teammate to get to Raditz.

As it is, he’s made aware of it when he hears a shrill scream.

He spins on his heel and shocks his pursuers by running right through them as he sprints for his princess. She’s in the ballroom, in her serpent form, writhing and screaming at the hold the green man has on the back of her neck. He looks up as Raditz enters and smiles cruelly, summoning a ball of ki to his free hand and okay, what the fuck, Raditz had been _positive_ that ghosts couldn’t use ki like that (crazy afterlife rules). Meanwhile, Nagi freezes and goes silent.

“I thought as much when I saw her in your arms,” the green man smirks, “She’s your weak point, isn’t she?”

And damn it all, but they must have kept their bodies somehow (which would explain the ki and solidity, actually), because he’s forced to answer.

“Yes,” he says softly, holding himself in place by sheer force of will, “Yes, she’s one of my weaknesses.” He hears the others come in behind him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Nagi or the green man, even as they circle him, avoiding his lashing tail.

“Good. What are your others?” the green guy demands.

“My tail; my inability to go through the floors and ceilings of the palace; here,” he taps the place he can still feel the peach pit, which is still far too solid for comfort at this moment in time, “Especially here.”

“How can we trust anything he says?” the scar-faced one demands, “You said he was a liar last time.”

“True. Why should we believe you?” the green guy asks and, oh, that’s mean, because he can obviously tell Raditz is telling the truth. That doesn’t matter though – whatever the asker’s intent, he still has to answer.

“I can’t lie to you now, not if you ask me a direct question.”

“Why not?” the small one asks, speaking for the first time. He eyes it warily.

“You have proper physical bodies and I’m just a ghost. If you ask, I have to answer, and honestly.”

“You seem pretty solid for a ghost,” the triclops sneers.

“Special circumstances.” It’s not a question, so he doesn’t have to explain himself.

The three humans confer for a moment, trying to decide whether to believe him or not, while the green one sneers at him, making it clear that he knows Raditz is telling the truth and that he’s content to watch him squirm.

“What if we ask him something he wouldn’t want to answer if he didn’t have to?” the white one suggests.

“Good idea, Chaotzu – hey saiyan,” the scarred one calls out, “Are you sleeping with that Snake lady we met earlier?”

“Yes.” He claps his hand over his mouth an instant too late to muffle the answer. His only comfort is that everyone else is looking as red as he feels, the scarred man especially looking uncomfortable.

“Dude, I was joking-”

“It doesn’t matter,” he grits out, “I still have to answer! Now enough games – you’ve got me trapped, you obviously want revenge, so just take it already!”

They don’t need telling twice. The scar-faced man might have been embarrassed, but he’s fast and his aim is good. “This is for Goku,” he growls just as his fist connects with the spot a hair’s breadth above where the peach pit sits.

He might say something else, but Raditz doesn’t hear him. He’d thought he’d felt pain before, but anything he’s felt previously is nothing to the agony of this blow. It feels as though every part of him is fracturing. He might be screaming, he’s probably crying, but all he really knows is that he’s lying crumpled on the floor, awash in agony.

He doesn’t see it, obviously, but later he hears from Corba, who was watching from an alcove, how Nagi drops her snake form for her woman form and spits fire in the green guy’s face (something he’s thought she had to be in snake form to do), running over to Raditz while her former captor is distracted. He does feel the cool hand on the source of his pain, however, soothing the white-hot agony until he can think again. He opens his eyes to see Nagi sitting beside him, hand on his chest, glaring at the four figures surrounding them, whose expressions show varying levels of shock. The scarred one looks especially horrified.

Panting and shaking, he sits up and leans against Nagi, and even if this is an inappropriate time he marvels as he always does that such a delicate frame can so effortlessly support his bulk.

“You are unbelievably lucky,” Nagi addresses the scarred one, her voice icy, probably showing her real face rather than the illusory one he sometimes half-glimpses her wearing, “If you had struck a little harder or a little lower, you might have actually destroyed him, and the destruction of a pure soul is possibly the greatest crime there is. As it is, be glad he’s in my service, or I wouldn’t have been able to heal him.”

“Pure? Him?” the triclops asks skeptically, but he’s not asking Raditz directly, so he doesn’t have to answer. This is good, because his throat feels horribly raw, which is probably an answer as to whether or not he was screaming earlier. Besides, Nagi answers for him.

“Yes, pure, him,” she snaps, “He’s recently been cleansed, so whatever he was when you knew him, however black his heart, he is now unstained. And even if he wasn’t,” her eyes narrow dangerously, “He is _my_ servant, and whose road do you think you’ve been running on?”

“King Yemma’s?” the small one asks more than answers.

Nagi snorts. “Of course it is, that’s why it’s called Yemma’s Way – oh wait, no, it’s Snake Way, after its mistress and creator, Princess Snake!” and oh, she _looks_ royal right now, seated on the floor and mussed yet in complete control of the situation, “Yemma may decide who can step on, but _I_ am the one who allows it to remain steady beneath their feet, rather than flinging them over the side and into hell! Which is what I have a good mind to do with all of you after this!”

Okay, nice as it is to hear someone speaking in his defense for once, it’s time for him to step in. “No…” he rasps, and it hurts, but it’s a more manageable pain than the earlier stuff, “Deserved that…”

She turns her glare on him, though it’s softer, “No, dear, you didn’t – that’s part of what being cleansed means. And Corba, I see you there – go have Ratla and Pithonia make a healing tea and bring it here.”

He laughs at her, not much though, because it hurts to laugh. “Never… paid… my debts. Paid now.”

She swats him. “You’re an _idiot_.”

“You’re not mad?” the white one asks. The scarred one looks like he’d like to have, but he also looks about the same colour as the shorter male at the moment, so he probably can’t. In any case, Raditz shakes his head, grateful for yes or no answers that don’t require his abused vocal chords.

“Why not?”

Drat. Oh well. “Hell… is… truth.”

Nagi doesn’t let them ask any more questions after that until the tea arrives. It smells unpleasant, but she gives him a look that books not nonsense, so he drinks it like a good little ghost. The tea actually tastes better than it smells, and, regardless, feels _wonderful_ going down. His strength returns enough that he can sit on his own and talk, though his voice is still a little rough.

“Well, go on,” he says, setting down his cup, “Ask.”

“What did you mean? When you said ‘hell is truth.’” The triclops asks, his scarred friend still subdued.

“When you arrive in hell – and that _is_ where I wound up – you lose your illusions, your delusions, your lies,” he explains, “Everything you denied, everything you hid from yourself, everything you ignored, it’s all thrown in your face. No lies, no hiding, just truth, and you can never hide from it again. And that’s the torture – having to sit there and know what you were, and being unable to do anything about it or atone.”

“That was hell for _you_ , Ghost,” Nagi gently corrects him, pausing from tidying her hair (she’s so vain, it’s funny), “Not everyone who sees themselves for what they are regrets their actions.”

That’s news to him. “Really?”

“Oh yes.”

“Yikes.”

“How did you get out of hell?” the small one asks.

This makes him smirk. “Kakarrot.”

“WHAT?!” this comes from all of them, even the green guy, and Raditz has to laugh even as he’s forced to answer.

“He doesn’t know, he never saw me – I made sure of that. I watched how he got out, waited a bit, and followed. I ended up here.”

“Why was _Goku_ in _hell_?!” the scarred one demands, apparently shocked out of his silence.

He frowns for a moment. Goku? Who’s- oh, right, that’s Kakarrot’s dumb Earth name. He shrugs. “I don’t know; I just saw him land. He must have tripped while he was running or something.”

The triclops frowns. “I don’t see how that could have happened, Snake Way is so smooth-” he halts, and all of them turn to look at Nagi, who regards them coolly.

“Flying I will accept, running is better,” her tone is prim, “But riding in the back of a delivery truck is _cheating_ , especially if you fall asleep while doing so.”

The scarred one groans. “That… sounds like Goku all right.”

The green guy just looks pained.

Raditz decides it’s his turn to ask a question, one he’s been wondering for a long time now. “What happened to Vegeta? Did he survive the fight?” because Vegeta is incredibly strong, much stronger than anyone he’d encountered on Earth, but Raditz had _also_ been much stronger than anyone else on that planet, and look where that got him.

The three earthlings look at the green guy, who shrugs. “He was still alive when I died.”

He blinks at that. “How long ago was that?”

“About three months,” the green man answers.

And that _is_ confusing, because Raditz is pretty sure it’s been a few years since he died. “Then… how long did it take him to get to your planet?”

“About a year, like you said it would,” comes the reply, “Don’t you know how long you’ve been dead?”

He shakes his head, extremely puzzled. “I thought I did, but I guess not. I… thought it had been much longer.” (Try ‘close to a decade.’)

“Time passes differently for the dead than it does for the living,” Nagi interjects smoothly, “Moreso for bodiless ghosts like Raditz.”

“Oh.” Raditz looks away. “…I hope he’s all right…”

“Why do you care about him?” the green guy sneers, “He was never going to wish you back – he said as much while he waited for Goku to show up.”

“He is my prince,” Raditz answers quietly, ignoring the sting caused by the comment that followed the question.

“Um, in case you hadn’t noticed? You’re dead.” The scarred one points out.

“So?” he frowns, “I’m still saiyan, aren’t I? And he is still Vegeta. Alive or dead, he’s still my prince. Did your loyalties die when you did?” their expressions at his response make him smirk a little. “What, you thought I didn’t have _any_ good points?” their looks are answer enough and he sighs, “What _was_ he going to wish for, then?”

“Immortality.”

“Oh.” He blinks, considers, nods. “That is the better wish. Vegeta always was the smart one.”

“You’re actually okay with that?!” they all look horrified, all but the green one.

Raditz shrugs. “I’ve had time to get used to the idea that I’m not going back – I’d thought it had been much longer since I died than it has been, remember?”

“Even so,” the triclops protests, “How can immortality be better than the return of an… ally?”

He manages to hesitate a moment before answering – he really doesn’t want to think about this, let alone talk about it, but he doesn’t have a choice. “Because of Frieza.” He sighs at their blank looks – of course Vegeta would have been no more forthcoming on that topic than he himself had been, so now Raditz is going to have to explain. “You might want to sit down for this one…”

He tells them about Frieza and the planet trade and the saiyans. He leaves nothing out, and doesn’t try to sugar-coat any of it (and it turns out honesty really _is_ habit-forming, because the thought of lying about any of it doesn’t even cross his mind, even when he’s not directly answering a question). By the time he’s finished, he’s had another cup of healing tea, Kakarrot’s comrades look grim, and he’s exhausted. Nagi sends him off to rest and invites the others to a meal to replenish their strength before they continue their journey.

She probably wanted him to lie down in his room, but he goes to his favorite spot on the roof instead. Sometime later, he sees the earthlings leave the palace and begin to run. He sits up to watch them. Three run without looking back, but the forth hesitates, then turns. It is the scar-faced one, and he must see Raditz sitting on the roof, because he waves. Raditz waves back. No hard feelings. Then the earthling turns and hurries to catch up with his comrades. Raditz watches them run until they are out of sight, then watches where they were a little longer. He’s still watching when Nagi joins him. They sit quietly for awhile before she speaks.

“Do you wish you had gone with them?”

“No.” they don’t look at each other, and an honest answer doesn’t always mean a detailed one.

“Do you regret swearing yourself to me?”

“No.”

“…if this Vegeta of yours called for you, would you go to him?”

“Yes.”

“Even- even if I asked you not to?”

“Yes. He had my vow first.”

“Ah.”

He hears the tears in her voice, though when he turns to look he sees she hasn’t let them fall. “Ask me if I think he’ll ever call for me,” he says quietly.

“Do you think he will?”

“No, Vegeta always considered me a weakling. Ask me what I would do the instant he was finished with me if he did call.”

“What would you do?”

“I would come home,” he moves closer to her, “To here,” his tail slips from his waist to hers, “And you.”

She blinks, and the action causes a few tears to trickle out, but she also smiles. “You mean that?”

“Of course - you know I couldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” He laughs softly and she leans on him. They sit together in silence for awhile longer. Then she makes him go inside and drink more healing tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we know what the peach did to Nagi! ^^ I’m basing her ability to heal those in her service (or at least to prevent them from dying) off that whole Russian roulette bit in her episode. Yeah, I know it didn’t work like this in the show – it works better this way, and Raditz is a little different than the attendants.  
> I like Yamcha, and, in his defense, he had no idea that punching Raditz like that would cause that kind of result. Sorry Yamcha, but he needed to be punched, and you’re kinda the hot-headed on here – still love ya. I also like Piccolo, but, again, I needed someone to be a jerk for this chapter, and he’s not finished his character-development all the way by this point in the canon timeline, so we’re seeing some Demon King here. Also, Krillin kept trying to sneak into this scene. Go away, Krillin, you’re awesome, but you’re also still alive!   
> As for Raditz being cool with not being wished back – to him, it feels like he’s been dead for years. If he’d found out sooner that Vegeta had no intention of wishing him back, then he’d probably have been more upset. As it is, I doubt Vegeta ever made a secret of his opinion of Raditz’s abilities, or that said opinion was positive. I am choosing to interpret his confidence that he would be wished alive again as two parts bravado, three parts wishful thinking, and two parts he was not sane at the time and was in hella denial over various issues.  
> And, as I’m sure we’ve all seen before in various places, just because someone has a person’s loyalty, doesn’t necessarily mean they deserve it.  
> Also, I have figured out the REAL reason Raditz was such a dangerous enemy, and how he survived so long in Frieza’s army when he’s got such a relatively low power level. He’s got a secret power, a special ability, a hidden technique – he’s the only character who can freaking dodge a hit with any reliability! There, another mystery of the ages SOLVED!


	6. Kakarrot

Things are a little quieter for awhile after that. He spends less time on physical activities, more on the roof, thinking. He’s still happy here – really, he is – he just… wonders. If Vegeta and Kakarrot survive meeting each other. If Frieza’s still out there, ruining lives. Nagi complains at him for awhile about ruining _her_ (and he’s still not sure why not wanting to eat men anymore is a problem (she never did tell him what the point was)), but she gets over it, and eventually starts watching him as well, contemplating something.

One day (he really should learn how to measure time around here, but every time he thinks about it, he remembers he doesn’t actually care), she comes to him in a flurry of excitement and drags him in front of one of her mirrors, one that shows things that are happening far away. Together, they watch Kakarrot destroy Frieza and escape the planet’s destruction in Ginyu’s ship. They see the Namekians accompany a vaguely familiar blue-haired woman home, Vegeta among them, battered but alive. Then the mirror goes dark.

He sighs, and a tension he didn’t realise was there trickles out of him. Turning to Nagi, he kisses her, a proper kiss, like he hasn’t done in probably much too long. He also takes the opportunity to steal one of her death-earrings right off her ear and leads her and the attendants on a merry chase in an attempt to recover it. He ends up squashed on the floor under eight of them, and Nagi reclaims her earring with a huff, but he’s laughing and she’s doing her best not to laugh and things are properly back to normal in Snake Palace at last.

 

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

Time passes and not much changes, other than when Nagi abruptly decides that she feels like something different and rearranges the palace. By which he means she sends him and all the attendants to stand on Snake Way for awhile, and when they come back inside, it’s a completely different building. Similar in style, but the layout, the rooms, the furniture – all different. Everyone but Nagi keeps getting lost for ages afterwards, which adds a brilliant level of fun to chases, at least for him. The attendants seem to be more annoyed, but they take it in good stride mostly. They have been here longer than him, after all, it’s not the first time they’ve done this.

But, yeah, not much changes. And apparently goddesses (which is what Nagi says she is), their attendants, and ghosts (purified ones, anyway) don’t need as much change as living people to keep them occupied. Which is sensible, really, otherwise the afterlife would probably get boring really quickly.

But nothing is eternally unchanging, not even the afterlife, and one day (still can’t measure time, still doesn’t really care) he’s dancing with Nagi when she shudders suddenly and stops, frowning.

“Something has happened at one end of Snake Way,” she says when he asks.

“What, with the Judge of the Dead?”

“No,” she shakes her head, puzzled, “At the other end, where King Kai lives.” She shrugs. “He’ll probably be along soon if it’s important. Go wait by the door for him, will you?”

So he goes and waits by the door, because he _is_ technically a guard, after all. Eventually there’s a knock, and he opens the door with a bow (because he’s picked up a few manners in his time here (mostly by choice)). “Welcome to Snake Palace, King-”

“Raditz?”

He looks up.

Kakarrot looks back at him.

He shuts the door again.

Voices filter through as he leans against it, panicking quietly.

“Goku, who was that?”

“I… think it was my evil older brother.”

“You have an older brother?!”

“Well, I had one – he’s dead now.”

“So are we – _and whose fault is that_?!?”

“Sorry, King Kai…”

Shiiiiiit, how’s he going to get out of this one? He rubs the spot where the peach pit is still far too solid for comfort. It’s integrated more since the earthlings passed through, but not enough for this confrontation. The scarred earthling had almost destroyed him with a single off-centre blow, and he’s _seen_ what Kakarrot became during his battle with Frieza.

It’s been a good afterlife, on reflection, better than he’d deserved. He could have stood it to last longer-

“Ghost? Her highness wants to know what the delay is.”

He looks up as Vippa frowns down at him, though her expression softens as she sees his face. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes,” he readily admits, “I- it would be bad for me to answer the door to these guys. Could you get it? Please?”

“Oh all right,” she huffs, and he gives her a gratified smile as he darts through a wall (yeah, _still_ still a coward), though he stays close enough to listen in (a curious coward).

“Ah, King Kai, Bubbles, and- oh, it’s _you_.”

“Weren’t you a guy a moment ago?”

“Of course not! But then, what else would one expect from a man who thought Princess Snake was King Kai?”

“Goku thought _what_?!”

And oh **gods** , he’s heard about that incident, but that was _Kakarrot_?! He buries his face in his hands. That’s just embarrassing. He’s been kinda regretting calling Kakarrot a fool, but it looks like he might have been right.

He follows at a safe distance as Vippa leads them to Nagi.

“Princess Snake, may I present King Kai, Bubbles, and a complete **moron**.”

Ouch. Vippa’s usually one of the sweet ones, too.

“North, how good to see you again – it’s been, what, two hundred years? Three?”

“Five hundred, actually.”

“Really? Where does the time go?”

He leans against the wall outside the greeting chamber and listens quietly.

“And Son Goku, how… charming.”

“Hi, Princess Snake. Sorry about leaving you all tied up like that last time.”

“…I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive you.”

“…aren’t you going to apologise for trying to eat me?”

“No.”

“Oh. Okay then.”

There’s a moment of silence where he thinks he might actually be safe, but then-

“So, Princess Snake,” says the person who must be King Kai, “Who was the fellow who first opened the door to us? I didn’t know you had any male attendants.”

Well fuck.

“Oh, that was probably Ghost – and he’s not an attendant, he’s my new guard. I had sent him to wait for you, but he can be a little mischievous at times. Ghost, are you there?”

“Yes, Princess Snake.” Damn his honest tongue. No, wait, that’s why it’s honest in the first place-

“Stop lurking in the hallway and come meet King Kai, lord of the north quadrant of the universe.”

He sighs but straightens up. There’s no running now, might as well at least _pretend_ to face this bravely. He walks through the wall (no point in prolonging the inevitable), but remains intangible once he’s through (no point in being stupid, either). Folding his arms, he nods to the people before him. “Hello King Kai, Kakarrot.”

The Lord of Worlds is- is- well, he’s ridiculous. Short, squat, blue, those crazy antennae… Not what he was expecting. Next to him is a monkey, and, beside him, looking tougher but otherwise not much different from the last time he saw him, Kakarrot. All three of them have halos floating over their heads (he finally learned what the term for those hoop-things is. Recently, but he did), meaning they’re dead.

“Raditz!” Kakarrot looks stunned. “King Yemma said you were in hell!”

He frowns. “I was. But why would the Judge of the Dead tell you that?”

Kakarrot shrugs. “I asked him when I first met him, after we died.”

“… _why_?”

He shrugs again, tilting his head to the side. “You look different.”

He looks away from Kakarrot, inexplicably embarrassed. “New uniform.”

“No, that’s not it. Well, it is, but that’s not what I’m talking about,” he can hear the puzzlement in Kakarrot’s voice, “It’s more – you look less angry. Happier.” He looks over at that, just in time to see Kakarrot blink and point at him as comprehension dawns in his eyes. “You’re the guy! The one Yamcha told me about!”

“Who’s Yamcha?”

“My friend – he came by here a few years ago with some of my other friends, and we were talking about training with King Kai, and Yamcha said they stopped at a place while they were still running Snake Way and met this really helpful guy who told them about Frieza and everything!” he beams. “I didn’t realize he meant here!”

“Goku, this is the only stopping point on the whole of Snake Way, where else could he have been talking about?” King Kai grumbles. Kakarrot just laughs, scratching the back of his head, then his eyes snap open and his expression grows serious.

“If you’re the guy Yamcha was talking about, that means you have to answer- would you really have killed me and Gohan?”

Okay, maybe his brother’s not a complete fool. “No.”

“You said you were going to.”

He shrugs. “I lied. I did a lot of that back then.”

“Was anything you said to me true?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“You _were_ sent to purge that planet, because saiyans _were_ part of the planet trade, and I _was_ shocked that you didn’t remember me. I did many terrible things while I was alive, you look almost exactly like father, and we are brothers,” he hesitates, but the litany of truth is incomplete, and he is forced to continue, “…and a real warrior wouldn’t have hesitated to kill – not even his own brother.” He looks away, uncomfortable with this admission.

“You did, though.”

He shrugs again, still not looking at Kakarrot.

“Aren’t you going to answer?”

“You didn’t ask a question.”

“Are you going to not talk unless I ask you questions?”

“Yes.”

“Why? You seemed happy enough to talk about things last time we met.” Kakarrot sounds more confused than angry, which really just pisses him off for some reason and he spins to face his brother again, glaring.

“And that worked out _so well_ last time, didn’t it, or did you forget that, too?” and _wow_ , he hadn’t realized he was still this upset about that – King Kai actually takes a step back, though Kakarrot holds his ground. “Well let me remind you how it ended – with both of us dead!”

Kakarrot looks awkward. “Are you still upset about dying?”

That… wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, and it surprises a good deal of his anger away. “No! Aren’t you?”

“Well, I was when it happened,” Kakarrot scratches the back of his neck, “But I ended up getting to train with King Kai, and I got to fight Vegeta, which was really fun, and,” he shrugs, “I got better. My friends wished me back. You had to stay dead. I figured you’d be more upset if we ever ran into each other again.”

He stares at his brother for a moment, dumbfounded. Then he laughs, because this entire situation is too ridiculous not to, and Kakarrot grins goofily at him.

“So, since you two seem to have made up,” Nagi slips into the conversation smoothly, and he covers his mouth to muffle himself, “What happened, North? You’ve acquired a new accessory since last we met.” And she flicks one gloved finger against his halo with a muffled ‘ting.’

The small blue man gives her a miffed look, but makes a stab at dignity anyway. “It’s a long story, and it’s really more his to tell,” he jerks a thumb at Kakarrot. “Maybe we could go somewhere more comfortable?”

Nagi is a gracious hostess (especially now that she doesn’t include eating her guests on the to-do list) and leads them all to one of her favorite sitting rooms. She settles herself in a chair (firm enough to maintain dignity, soft enough to be luxurious), and he goes to stand by her left shoulder, because while it’s usually an empty role here, he did enough guard duty when he was alive to know how it works and properly fulfill the role. Kakarrot and King Kai sit on the sofa meant for visitors opposite her, and the monkey Bubbles investigates a nearby bowl of fruit. Then Kakarrot tells them a story about travelling through time and androids and scientists and super saiyans, all of it ending with a final joint ki blast that obliterated the menace.

There is silence for a moment. Then Raditz snorts and all eyes are upon him.

“You think that’s funny?” King Kai demands, sounding appalled.

“Part of it,” he readily admits, “After all, the reason Kakarrot and I fought in the first place was that he didn’t want to do what I told him to.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Kakarrot asks, giving him a confused look.

“You just willingly wiped out all sentient life on a planet,” he smirks at his brother, “And so sloppily! No one’s going to pay for a handful of space dust. Then again, it was your first – I’m sure you’ll do better next time.”

His smirk widens at the absolutely stunned look on Kakarrot’s face as his words sink in and process. “Holy crap, you’re right!” the younger saiyan’s eyes are huge, “I- I wasn’t- I’m not going to make a habit of it! I-” Kakarrot pauses to really _look_ at his brother’s expression, and his eyes narrow. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you.”

“Yes.” He raises an eyebrow and snickers when Kakarrot glares.

“You’re a jerk!”

“Not nearly as much as I used to be,” he replies calmly, “Once, I would have actually meant it about the sale value, and trying again.”

“Yeah, what happened? And how did you end up here?” Kakarrot asks, scowl abating to a puzzled frown.

He shrugs. “I went to hell, got a strong dose of reality, and then I followed you out.”

“Followed me- you were there for that?!”

“Yes.”

Kakarrot scowls at him. “What do I have to do to get a proper explanation from you?”

He grins. “Why Kakarrot – all you have to do is ask.” Then he relents and stops teasing his brother (and when did he get so playful? He’s pretty sure he didn’t used to be), and tells his story.

King Kai starts laughing when he mentions what the Judge of the Dead’s peach did to Nagi, and she glares at him, hissing, “I don’t have to eat you to set you on fire.” The blue man doesn’t stop, but he does try to muffle his chortles with his hands some. Kakarrot looks surprised.

“My peach gave me the energy to make up the time I lost from having to restart running Snake Way.” Kakarrot’s not complaining, just confused, and Raditz doesn’t have an answer for the (thankfully) unasked question.

King Kai does, though. “King Yemma’s peaches are special, and what they do depends more on how you get them and who the eater is than on the peach itself.”

“Yes, take North here,” Nagi smiles coyly, “He used to be so tall and handsome before he snuck a piece.”

“I have always looked like this!” the short blue deity sputters indignantly while Kakarrot laughs. Raditz snorts as well, before resuming his story, and King Kai sulks, grumbling that he’s the Lord of Worlds and so should definitely be getting more respect than this.

After he finishes, King Kai and Nagi chat for a bit while he and Kakarrot think about each others’ stories. They are interrupted by Kakarrot’s stomach. The orange-clad saiyan laughs and looks at Nagi hopefully.

“Oh, but where are my manners? May I offer you all some supper?” she asks. At Kakarrot’s eager nod she claps her hands, and Andracona steps forward. “Go to the kitchens and tell them to prepare a meal – and be sure to let them know who they’re cooking for.”

“Yes, Princess Snake,” Andracona bows and turns to go, only to be halted by a hand on her arm.

“And tell them to leave out the sleeping potion this time.”

“Sleep potion?!” Kakarrot squawks, and Nagi gives him an arch look. She changed after the peach, just as Raditz did, but unlike him she has never apologised for what she was, or regretted it.

Gracefully, Nagi rises and leads them to the dining room, where he goes to stand by the wall behind her while Nagi and her guests are seated, and various attendants carry out food.

Part of him has always been aware that being a ghost, even a solid one, is different than being alive. He doesn’t sleep, for example, not really. He can get tired, maybe experience a light doze if he’s exhausted enough or just feels like being still, but not proper sleep with dreams. His lack of tiredness after being awake for so long used to surprise him at odd times early on, but he’s used to it now, and doesn’t really miss it. And while he’s been _able_ eat ever since he got purified, he usually doesn’t feel the urge to do so on a very regular basis, or consume very much when he does.

Now, as he watches Kakarrot eat, he finally understands the expressions new recruits to Frieza’s army generally made the first time they saw one of the last three saiyans while said saiyan was at a meal. That is just… wow. Had he actually eaten like that when he was alive?

“Aren’t you going to eat anything, Raditz?” Kakarrot asks at one point as he pauses for breath.

“I am eating.” He holds up the plate Aspa had handed him when she helped bring in the other plates, and which he’s been casually making his way through. Technically, he shouldn’t be eating – he’s on duty.

The ‘no eating while on duty’ rule was one no saiyan had ever really gotten the hang of. And the girls in the kitchen _had_ gone to the trouble of preparing a portion for him. It would be **rude** to turn it down.

Kakarrot, meanwhile, gapes at him. “That’s **it**?!”

He shrugs. “I don’t need any more. Before the peach pit, I didn’t eat anything.” He snorts at Kakarrot’s look of horror.

“Technically Goku shouldn’t be eating like that either,” King Kai grumbles, “He’s the only hungry dead man I ever met! Until now,” he adds, shooting a pointed look at Raditz’s plate.

Kakarrot shrugs, grins, and resumes eating with gusto. They leave soon after that, continuing towards King Yemma’s. Kakarrot says he’ll visit again if he can, and Raditz nods. He stands with Nagi in the doorway and watches the three figures fly away.

He doesn’t _admit_ to being in a good mood after this encounter, but he is. It had been… disappointing, meeting his brother for the first time in years, only to discover that his brother didn’t know him and, worse, didn’t _want_ to know him. If he’s honest with himself (and he really doesn’t have a choice about that), it had hurt. A lot. It’s good to be able to finally let that hurt go.

This encounter also leaves him a little contemplative. Not like meeting Kakarrot’s friends had, but in a way that leaves his mind full instead of empty when he sits on Snake Way, staring at the clouds dividing it from hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the manga, when he first meets King Kai, Goku asks for a meal (of course) and King Kai does make the comment that he’s never met a hungry dead man before.  
> Goku is a very forgiving person, and tends to give people second chances pretty easily, so I can see him reacting to this pretty similarly. I mean, putting things in perspective, he’s faced waaaaaay worse than Raditz at this point. Hell, he gave Frieza a second chance. Raditz is possibly the only one in the whole arc who faces Goku and doesn’t get one (could be wrong, but I don’t think I am [braces for reviews explaining exactly how wrong I am]).  
> That little back-and-forth between King Kai and Goku after Raditz shut the door on them is one of my favorite parts of this fic, bar none, especially King Kai’s closing line. King Kai was actually pretty fun to write.  
> The next chapter is the last one. Quick question – I’ve mentioned in response to a review or two that I’ve got some other fics on the boil that aren’t finished yet, but are going to be longer than this one when I eventually post them (oh, and one very short one that will be posted when this one is done). My question is this: while it won’t be up for awhile would you guys like a teaser for my next fic to be included at the end of the next and last chapter? Thanks! ^^


	7. Courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to do a quick shout-out thanks to everyone who’s read this fic, doubly to those who left me nice reviews, triply to Zalgo’s Jinchuriki, daughterofrisingsun, Jafrar, and Emotionally crippled reader, who logged in to do so (that meant I could respond and say thanks personally!). Though this fic is over, I’d still love to hear what you think of it – and if you have questions, I’d be happy to answer them! ^U^

Time continues to pass at its immeasurable rate. He finally relents and lets the attendants play with his hair, since they have been pestering him about it for _ages_ and he’s finally had enough. They use this opportunity to put it in ten _million_ tiny braids, which he keeps in _exactly_ long enough to make them happy (too damn long) and then takes out, swearing that he’s never letting them do it again (he thinks they have a pool going as to how long it will take to wear him down again).

Nagi receives a few more visitors – not just people running Snake Way but actual _visitors_. She huffs about inconvenience and valuing her privacy, but he thinks she’s secretly pleased. She’s a vain creature, and enjoys the opportunity to show off and play hostess. He gets the feeling that it’s an opportunity that’s going to arise more often as word of her new dietary habits spreads.

And, one day (does he really need to say it at this point?), he pulls Nagi aside and asks her about the thing he’s been thinking about since he saw Kakarrot again, as he stares at the clouds that are the roof of hell. She blinks at him.

“I… don’t know. I’ll have to ask King Yemma.”

He nods and waits while she makes her call, and can’t supress a shiver when he hears the Judge of the Dead’s booming voice, though he can’t make out his words, or Nagi’s for some reason (crazy afterlife rules). At the end of the conversation, she nods, hangs up the phone, and turns to him. “It won’t be a problem.”

That surprises him. “What, not even getting back?”

She smirks at him. “Not where we’re going, no.”

He tilts his head to the side, confused, so she explains to him, after which he’s no longer confused – he’s stunned.

 

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

The most surprising thing about heaven, he thinks, is that there are saiyans in it. As in, more than one. As in, quite a few actually, gathered in the same general area of their own volition as much as outward influence. Most are from the era before Frieza found them and their culture started to go rotten, but a few are more recent. He thinks he sees his mother in the distance.

It’s… a big place, heaven is, and a little strange, the landscape seeming to alter as he looks, sometimes a green, grassy place with a blue sky, other times a far more familiar scarlet desert under a red sky, and sometimes a blend or the two, or something else entirely. To be honest, he’s glad Nagi walks with him most of the way as he looks for a specific person. But he walks the final stretch to the figure lying propped against a tree on his own.

Bardock looks almost exactly like he remembers him, a rugged saiyan in worn armor, chewing on a long blade of grass. He’s picked up a red bandana somewhere along the way, though, and he seems… at peace, with none of the barely-restrained aggression or cold distain he remembers his father carrying. And… it’s odd seeing him, there, looking so like he does in Raditz’s memories, even though it’s been so long since he’s seen him, odder still when he realises they look about the same age now. Bardock has always been such an impressive figure in his memory, with so many accomplishments to his name – it’s easy to forget that he wasn’t much older than Raditz when he died.

The man opens one eye as he approaches, removing the stalk of grass from his mouth (a habit of his that mother said had gotten father poisoned on more than one occasion).

“Hey there, brat. What took you so long?” his tone is neutral, but it’s a friendly sort of neutral, more curious than accusatory.

There’s no compulsion to answer honestly - Bardock’s a spirit, the same as him - but he does anyway. “I was scared.”

“Of me?” Bardock raises an eyebrow.

“Hell yes!” he’s always had more respect for his father than just about anyone, but that has never negated the fact that the man is fucking terrifying.

“Heh,” his father closes his eye again and smirks a little, “Then why did you come?”

He sits down beside Bardock, shrugging even if he can’t see it. “I’ve had enough of being a coward.”

“Mmm,” Bardock nods, then abruptly changes the subject. “That your woman you came with?”

He doesn’t ask how his father knows Nagi is there when there is **no way** he could have seen her from his position (father always found out (everything (always))), he just shrugs. “More like I’m her man.”

His father snorts a bit at this. “She’s not from around here, is she?”

“No, she lives… somewhere else. A sort of between place.”

“I take it you won’t be staying, then?”

“No.”

Bardock nods again, then opens his eyes and sits up, looking straight at him, “Then let’s talk while you’re here.”

And they do. He tells his father about serving Frieza and hell and Snake Palace and the peach, and Bardock tells him about Kanassa and what transpired afterwards and heaven, and they’re both surprised to learn that the other already knows Kakarrot can go super saiyan. It turns out that it _was_ his mother he’d seen in the distance, because Gine eventually joins them, and the three of them remember Vegetasei together. It’s a quieter meeting than he’d imagined, no punches or anything, and while it doesn’t feel like the most saiyan thing in the world, it feels… satisfying. Right.

At the end of it, he leaves his mother and father sitting under the tree together, tails quietly entwined, and goes to where Nagi is waiting for him. She’s sitting on the ground, chatting with some other spirits. He’s pretty sure he hears her mentioning something along the lines of the merits of crushing an opponent as opposed to roasting them while he approaches.

Nagi smiles at him as he walks up to her and offers her a hand up. “Finished?”

“Yes.” He smiles at her-

And abruptly he realizes he can’t feel the peach pit anymore – hasn’t felt it for some time, in fact. It’s fully integrated and, even if it wasn’t… there’s nothing to be scared of anymore. It’s a liberating sensation. He grins at Nagi and she smiles back, linking her arm through his. “Shall we leave, then?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, your highness.”

She laughs at his formality and swats him lightly, laughing more at the obviously false wounded look he sends her for doing so.

And together, they go home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it. I enjoyed writing this fic – beyond a few struggles with keeping the tense consistent (I usually write past-tense, not present), it came fairly smoothly and easily, and didn’t require much editing. It was a joy to write, and I hope you’ve had as much fun with it as I have!  
> Remember waaaay back in chapter one? Ta-da, have a Bardock! A lot of the fics I’ve read that feature Bardock have him ending/showing up in hell. Now, considering what his life was probably like, I can understand this. However, in the scene at the end of his movie, where Bardock is talking to Kakarrot in spirit after having died trying to save his people and planet, Bardock’s presence is depicted by sparkly beams of white light, and he sounds incredibly at peace (to me at least (and yes, this is the dub I’m talking about for the voice, but I’m pretty sure all the versions include those sparkly beams of light)). That, in combination with Kakarrot telling Bardock ‘it’s not too late for you’ in that vision, implies to me that Bardock wound up in heaven.  
> A short chapter, but then, some things don’t take many words to say. Thanks for reading, and, to those of you who did, for your lovely reviews! ^U^


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